AMPLE MINDED

knit wit

2011-12-22T11:55:00.000-08:00

Seventeen Evergreen - Polarity Song from Lucky Number Music on Vimeo.

finger blast

2011-12-05T10:55:00.001-08:00

the terrorists lost

2011-08-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

the ones that hurt you the most

2011-08-31T09:56:00.001-07:00

St. Vincent - "Cruel"

kidz playing with their wieners

2011-06-26T15:42:00.001-07:00

born this way

2011-06-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

i am your grandma

2011-05-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

learning shit: bargain shopping

2011-05-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

[via schmuel]

[via w]

learning shit: speed cooking

2011-05-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

it's so easy when you know how.

buckle up

2011-05-11T09:47:00.001-07:00

america

2011-04-27T13:39:00.001-07:00

Airlines - "Colors" from Consequence of Sound on Vimeo.

learning shit: booty

2011-04-21T10:25:00.001-07:00

Nathaniel Branden's 81st Birthday Party in Bel Air

2011-04-07T11:19:00.000-07:00

"This is a birthday party. Nobody gives a damn about your views on anything."

Nathaniel Branden's 81st Birthday Party in Bel Air
Den's Birthday WIG PARTY March 2010
by Judd Weiss

Ok kids, I've got something I'm really excited to tell you. One of my biggest heroes of all time, Nathaniel Branden, will be having his 81st Birthday Party at my house this Sunday afternoon at 4pm. Really, no joke. I've decided to open the party up and invite my friends too. He's cool with that.

If you haven't been here before, here's some pictures of my place:
http://hustlebear.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

...And if you're curious here's some pics from when Nathaniel spoke here over a year ago:
http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss/NathanielBrandenSpeakingInBelAir2009

Directions to my house are here:
http://hustlebear.com/misc/directions.htm

Please confirm here if you're coming!

If you know of Nathaniel Branden, then I don't need to explain.

If you don't know much about him, well let me try to give you an idea of his significance.

Nathaniel Branden is a world renowned author of over 20 profoundly impactful books. In fact, when people privately ask me for recommendations, I always tell them that Nathaniel Branden's writings are the most powerful material I know of. In fact, I even advise people to halt their business and pause medical school if they need to, and read Nathaniel's books. They're that important. This should be in all high schools. I feel like I was raised more by Nathaniel's books, than by my own parents; and that I wouldn't have achieved what I have so far in life if I didn't discover his writings in my late teens; and subsequently used that understanding to form the foundation of how I've lived and built my life ever since.

I'm not the only one who thinks that way, check out the Amazon reviews:
http://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem-Definitive-Leading/dp/0553374397

To get a quick understanding of what he's all about, go to www.nathanielbranden.com and DON'T CLICK ENTER yet, just sit there and keep refreshing the main page to read new quotes.

In fact, Eben Pagan of David Deangelo fame has recently organized many of the greatest, most famous personal development gurus from around the world to come together and release a tribute product in honor of Nathaniel Branden and how much his work has blazed a trail and led the way for others to follow.

Nathaniel Branden has carefully constructed his writing to bring life altering insight in a way that is accessible, intelligent, and profound. That is the goal I strive for when writing.

Nathaniel Branden is known as the Father of Self Esteem. He began the movement in the 60s when no prominent psychologist was discussing the topic, and has since transformed the field of Psychology from a field primarily focused on alleviating mental sickness into a field also very focused on helping normal fairly healthy people significantly improve their levels of competence, self respect and confidence.

If that wasn't enough of an achievement, prior to his revolutionary accomplishments in the field of Psychology, in the 1950s as the protégé of the philosopher Ayn Rand (author of Atlas Shrugged), Nathaniel Branden personally launched the Objectivist movement with a series of philosophical and political lectures from his Nathaniel Branden Institute. All the founders of the Libertarian party attended his talks. Countless significant global figures have been deeply impacted by this outlook. Much of the ideas behind our recent intense public discourse and the rising wave of sea change this nation is experiencing, if you trace it back, Nathaniel Branden has had a significant influential impact on all of that.

Make no mistake, if you come by on Sunday, you are in the presence of a legend.

Anyway, this is not a political, philosophical or psychology event. This is a birthday party. Nobody gives a damn about your views on anything.

Months ago, we decided to have this birthday party for Nathaniel at my house, but his health took a serious turn for the worse, and he decided he wasn't up for it. But now he's feeling a little better and changed his mind. Why not let life be a little exciting and just organize it for this Sunday? Well, I don't know why not, so we're gonna do it and you're invited!

Just know that Nathaniel has recently suffered from some dramatic health problems, and I ask that you please be patient with him.

I will tell you a little secret. Nathaniel is a complete sucker for compliments. If you are at all familiar with him and would like to say a few words, you might just cause him to smile uncontrollably.

This is not like one of my usual house parties. It's something a little different. I know this might come as shock to some, but going out and being social doesn't have to equate with getting plastered and becoming belligerent and incoherent. If you're up for meeting a significant figure at a more sophisticated event with other intelligent people, cool, come on by Sunday at 4pm, and feel free to bring your friends. This is an open invite. There's no age limit, you don't have to be older, you don't have to be younger, you just have to not be a sloppy moron. I believe in you.

Nathaniel will be so happy to see a bunch of quality people here for his 81st Birthday. It will mean a lot to him.

One last thing I want to say... Considering that he is so well known as the Father of Self Esteem, and that he was instrumental in launching significant philosophical and political movements, Nathaniel is surprisingly humble. He must not truly understand the mark he's left on the world.

I feel fortunate to know him, and over the last 2 years I've seen him regularly. Often I'll help out and fix computer problems, give him rides, take him to lunch and now I'm throwing this party. Sometimes he asks me why I am being so helpful. He must not truly understand the mark he's left on me.

This is a worthy man if there ever was one. Let's do something nice for his 81st Birthday.

See you guys on Sunday at 4pm!

(Make sure you confirm and have your friends confirm if you want to come.)

save me deer

2011-03-25T15:20:00.001-07:00

Matta - Release The Freq from Kim Holm on Vimeo.

Chuck Mann and Lulu and The Woodfired Oven

2011-03-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

Chuck Mann and Lulu and The Woodfired Oven

Browsing the menu, Chuck Mann ran his tongue over his molars, contemplating the contrast of his hard teeth to the soft pussy he'd be lapping at this date's inevitable conclusion.
“What are you thinking?”
Lulu's eyebrows peak slightly. “Oh, nothing, just admiring the ambiance.”
“I mean about the menu.” Perfect execution. She thought I wanted to know what was on her mind, like, in general. Fuck that. What do you want to eat?
“Oh, right. Ummm, the roasted beets sound good.”
“Want to get that and the shrimp and split an entree?” Sharing is caring.
“Hmm, OK. The ribeye? Some surf-n-turf action.” Most expensive protein on the menu. Prick.
Touche, ho. “Perfect.”
The waiter appears, as waiters are wont to do. He unfolds Chuck's napkin for him, reaches for his lap, his ladyhand intercepted by Chuck's manpaw. Not so close. The snake bites.
Chuck Mann orders for the both of them, as Chuck Mann is wont to do.
“And to drink?”
“I'll have a glass of the Napa cab.”
“Beer. Something hoppy.”
“We have Heineken, Stella, Amstel Light...”
He waits for the waiter to continue, he doesn't. “Fine, Stella.”
Just like my father, the waiter thought. I'd like to shave his stubble and kiss his cheek.

Lulu stares into the woodfired oven. “So, you're on that Discovery show?”
“'Beating Mother Nature.'”
“Ah, right. Does she ever beat you?”
Softball. “Never. But you know, I'm not really a 'nature' guy. I just do what I've gotta do, you know? Half the shit I'm doing for the very first time. Just winging it.”
“You're quite good at winging it?”
“I'm well prepared. My father was a real man. He trained me to be a man, and be good at it.”
“So you're good at everything?”
“Except folding laundry...” wait for it, “and being humble.”
Lulu smiles into the woodfired oven. Passion. Hell. She thinks about his sweat, his heat. She's going to try to make him cum as quickly as possible. She wants him to apologize. She clenches a quick Kegel exercise.

Drinks. She does not swirl her wine. He does not ask for a glass.
The world is a jungle. He'd hack this restaurant apart with a machete. Machinations he could not quickly grasp would be hacked at, hacked at, and understanding would no longer matter.
“Do animals ever bite you?”
He displays his scarred hands. “Humans are far more dangerous.”
“And less predictable.”
They lock eyes like horns. Hardly. I know this one. I am a good hunter. I know my prey.

The salad. “Oh, good, I much prefer the company of vegetables.”
She picked at the bacon first. Well played.
He went for the goat cheese. “Mmm, very delicate.”
And now, together, with the beets and the cheese and the bacon and the mache.
“Not quite the roots and grubs you have to eat on your show.”
“Oh, well, you might be surprised. I can be very crafty with a wild goat, miner's lettuce and a few raspberries.”
“And how does the goat feel about it?”
“Tickled, I'm sure.”
She giggles. A goatee on his balls. Tickle tickle. The world is a petting zoo. Passive little critters begging for a belly rub. And shit and straw.
“And then you kill it and cook it on a stick over an open flame?”
“Would you like to be on my show?”
Lulu smiles into the woodfired oven. I'm on it right now.
“What happens to the fur? Do you just, burn it off?”
“If you have a knife, you can skin it. If not...”

The shrimp. Peeled and draped around a cocktail glass. A gussied up classic.
The waiter thinks about the shells, all those delicate pink shells, boiling away in a stock pot. It's quite exciting to him. All that bubbling. It seems gay and exciting, like flamenco dancing.
“If only my grandmother served cocktail sauce like this. Scrabble night might have been tolerable.”
“Food was so simple back then. Sometimes I think that's nice. Maybe we waste too much thought and energy on something so... quintessential.” She wondered immediately if that was the right word.
“It's evolution.” He wondered immediately if that made any sense.
“Seems like the wasabi gene has become the dominant.” Shrimp tail. What a silly tail. What does that tail do?
She's empathizing with the shrimp. Women. Big dip-- wasabi slaps him in the nose and he likes it. The spice rush. Hi-ya! He shakes his head and blinks hard. “Got me.”
“You think it's real wasabi? I think the green stuff you get with most sushi is some kind of imitation stuff. The real deal is supposed to be very expensive.”
“Dunno.” Swig of beer. “Feels real.” Like I'm some fucking radish expert. Beating Mother Nature.
“Mmm, try it with a mango spear.”
“Mmm, yeah.” Now we're having fun. “How's the wine?”
“Delicious. I'm making sure to save some for the steak.”
Trying to stay sober? Or calling Chuck Mann cheap? “Why not get another glass?”
Both. “I just might. That last one's yours.”
“You sure? Don't mind if I do.” He licks his finger clean.
Lulu smiles into the woodfired oven. Cleaning me with fire. He'd have plenty to say about the mythology of germs. He'd try to make her unafraid. He'd make her feel irrational.

The steak. Brash, a la carte.
“How's everything so far?” The waiter wonders if they appreciate his practiced movements, his grace. He is exquisite.
“Excellent.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
The world is a slaughterhouse disco. A meat dance. An offal train. He'd move his ugly, he'd shake it.
Lulu ate the rib-eye wordlessly. Stabbing and cutting and chewing and mmming. Strategic eye-contact, suggestion articulate, forward.
Chuck Mann sawed along with her, feeling fire. “Eve was made from Adam's rib.”
She was sucking on the bone.
Bless post-feminism. Bless its fucking pussy.
“Dessert?”
Silence the vanity. That clever tongue between her legs.
“No. No dessert.”

are you part time?

2011-03-08T01:58:00.001-08:00

inception blunt

2011-02-04T16:04:00.001-08:00

[via moneybags]

fur

2011-02-04T01:54:00.001-08:00

everything

2011-01-21T11:08:00.001-08:00

learning shit: tripping

2011-01-19T10:20:00.000-08:00

Soviet Punk ICE SKATING this Wednesday Judd Weiss invited you

2010-12-14T14:28:00.000-08:00

Time
Wednesday, December 15 · 7:00pm - 10:00pm
Location Ice at Santa Monica
1324 5th St.
Created By
Judd Weiss, Dominika Wolski
More Info

Holy shit! Wow! My friend Dominika (who also just happens to be one of the coolest people in this city) just introduced me to outdoor ice skating in Santa Monica. That was awesome! Actually that was more than awesome, but I just don't have the right word.

And guess what? That's right bitches. You're coming tomorrow, Wednesday evening.
Cancel your other Wednesday night plans, 'cause now you've got better ones.

Why Wednesday? Because. I'm possessive. And we should go on an off day where it's not too crowded so we can take control and proclaim "This is OUR ice skating rink!"

It's just that I forgot how gliding on the ice through people is so much more fun than walking, I want to go back and do it again, and I'm just not comfortable enough with my sexuality to go out ice skating by myself.

I want you to be there, to join me with other good peeps. Let's do something fun that doesn't involve guest lists, alcohol, and deafening loud music. In LA you only begin to discover who your friends are by hanging out when they aren't drunk and fucked up.

And if you're good little boys and girls, Dominika might bake you some cupcakes.

Not a good ice skater? That's ok, we've all been there. You'll catch on. Just hold onto the ledge until you grow your wings and fly...

The ice closes at 10pm so we're getting there early at 7.

And at 10pm we're gonna head down Wilshire and get some drinks and bites at the coolest new spot in Los Angeles, Red Medicine. It's a high end Vietnamese restaurant/lounge with a Soviet Punk edge in Beverly Hills, and it's named after a Fugazi album. Interesting. A collaboration between the creator of Umami Burger and a celebrity chef behind XIV. Anyway this place is fucking cool, the food is exceptional, drinks are original, and I want to go back there with some more friends on a night that's not too slammed. So lets go do that after Ice Skating.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/red-medicine-beverly-hills
http://www.kevineats.com/2010/12/red-medicine-beverly-hills-ca.html

Are you in or are you in?

(feel free to bring friends and reply below if you're coming Ice Skating in the evening, if your coming to Red Medicine after 10pm, or if you're coming to both!)

Ice at Santa Monica
1324 5th St.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
(at Arizona between Santa Monica Blvd. and Wilshire)

Red Medicine
8400 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90211
(two blocks east of La Cienega)

ps. I just put up a new article about how to deal with threatening lawyers on my blog at
http://hustlebear.com/

don't cum in me

2010-12-05T21:48:00.001-08:00

learning shit: this is hip-hop

2010-11-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

THIS IS HIP-HOP! from Airwave Ranger on Vimeo.

yogi okie dokey

2010-10-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

e-i-e-i-yoga

remember to breathe

[via schmuel]

humpkin season

2010-10-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

it's that time of year again!

past humpkin coverage on B&B:
humpkins
humpkin update
humpkin pie

mvp

2010-10-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

From the EP "The Kings Men"
1988 Rushforce Records
First record ever recorded by E-40, B-Legit, D-Shot and Suga T

put it in the pizza

2010-10-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

anal holocaust

2010-10-09T02:02:00.000-07:00

grinding

2010-10-05T16:05:00.001-07:00

[via mort]

judd featured on curbed

2010-09-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

"No Pretty Girls or Savages For This Impulsive, Disciplined MoFo
Wednesday, September 29, 2010, by Adrian Glick Kudler

The Catch features everything-looks-good-except listings. Submissions to the tipline please."

[via curbed]

boosh is the new boo-ya

2010-09-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

4 all u mamma grizzlies

2010-09-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

[via moneybags]

Bel Air Available Room for Rent in My House

2010-09-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes you can look out your window and see deer and rabbits..."

Well friends, my roommate is moving on out of Los Angeles and there is now an available room for rent in my house; yup, you now have a chance to live here.

I'm asking $1500/month. That's not cheap, but then again this house costs me over $10,000/month as one expense in my life, and I wish I could live here that cheap. What do you get for $1500? Well if you've been to one of my parties here, then you know. Otherwise, take a look a...t these pictures:

http://www.hustlebear.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

You will live in Bel Air with views of the Getty Center in front of the Ocean and endless green canyon views everywhere. Sometimes you can look out your window and see deer and rabbits, amazing as you're only a couple minutes from the activity of either Westwood Village or Brentwood Village. We're just north of Westwood and Sunset Blvd., just east of the 405. Maid cleans whole house every other Saturday. There is ample Parking, Laundry Machines, Wireless High Speed Internet. You'll have your own bathroom and a glass wall overlooking the canyon.
I don't know of anything better you can get for the price. I've spent almost $500,000 transforming the house with remodeling, furniture and art to create an extremely modern/contemporary feel. Kitchen is fully stocked with most anything you can think of. There's a Movie Room with an 80" TV and stocked with several hundred DVDs.
Most importantly, there's access to ME. Being around me and watching me put together multi-million dollar deals, there's no doubt a ton of valuable traits will rub off onto you. I'm a disciplined hardcore motherfucker with a highly developed ability to get shit done and make things happen. I've trained many in the skills of negotiating, sales, and all around hustling. So I'll be around, and I'm happy to help anyone who's willing to do what it takes to move forward.
I throw parties here every once in a while and you should get a chance to meet some cool people.
There is one other roommate currently living here, also an intelligent high achieving guy. And that's the vibe I want here. Positive ambitious young professionals on the rise.

Some restrictions:
NO GIRLS, especially if you're attractive.
No couples. No children.
No smokers. No pets. No savages.
You have extremely clean habits. You're responsible and very considerate of those you live with.
I prefer someone in his mid 20s to early 30s.
That's it.

If it's not for you, but you know someone else that would be perfect, let him know. But whatever you do, do it quickly. I'm pretty impulsive and make decisions fast. I'm very selective about who I live with, but you've got a real shot right now. The room is available now. You can come check it out anytime. I'm looking for someone to move in by October 1st.

If you're interested, email me
Or even better, call me anytime at 310-476-8295 (home number, not a cell for texting)

oh, and if you want to know a little bit more about me, you can check out my blog at http://hustlebear.com/

swag

2010-09-15T11:07:00.001-07:00

that girl, she go.

2010-09-08T23:12:00.001-07:00

That Girl, She Go.

He told her:

Be bolder
Don’t look over your shoulder
Hurl boulders

Wear roller skates
These paper weights
Can’t hold her
Men scold her

Hurl boulders

Don’t smolder, burn, flame
Shout out the names
Of your gods and their colors
Tongue lash their mothers

Lover fuckers
Thumb suckers
Tail tuckers

Hurl boulders

know your ages of consent

2010-08-13T16:05:00.001-07:00

[via w]

how to marinate your cat

2010-08-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

[presented by PETSTEW.com]

http://video.ap.org/?f=KSTOP&pid=9l3t_klB0jQO8AvnQHP5OeFslFizzpnF

NY police find live cat 'marinating' in car trunk

Tue Aug 10, 9:31 pm ET

BUFFALO, N.Y. – Police say a traffic stop led to animal cruelty charges after they found a live cat "marinating" in oil and peppers in the trunk of a car.

Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.

They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.

Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered. Korkuc was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn't listed.

Police say he told them he was going to cook Navarro. Korkuc also told officers a number of things that didn't make sense, including that his neutered male cat was pregnant.

Animal advocates have cleaned Navarro and put him up for adoption.

___

Information from: The Buffalo News, http://www.buffalonews.com

They Rapin' E'rybody Out Heah!

2010-08-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

[via grimey]

[via schmuel]

fire v ice

2010-07-29T16:06:00.001-07:00

Dancing Pigeons - Ritalin from Blink on Vimeo.

[via w]

the truth about nuggets

2010-07-28T15:10:00.001-07:00

[via moneybags]

echo echo echo

2010-07-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

Judd's Birthday House Party in Bel Air

2010-07-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to rope off a sketchy ho area and quarantine the bitches."

Hold on, did you hear that? I think I heard something. Let's listen closely...

JUDD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS SATURDAY

Oh shit! That's right foo. You're invited to my 6th yearly Birthday Party in Bel Air.
...We're talking open bar, food, complimentary valet, and one of the best groups of people you will ever meet and enjoy a few hours with at a cool modern house in the hills of Bel Air.

There is no charge for anything at this party. Just come and enjoy.

This is not a Hollywood party. This is not about fist pumping with a bunch of bottles and hos.
In fact, I'm going to rope off a sketchy ho area and quarantine the bitches.
Think of this more like a big get-together at a social lounge, with good music, with good energy, and about 220 fun awesome people that you can actually meet and speak to without yelling.

The Party Rules are here: (I'm serious, read the motherfucking rules. they're updated)
http://www.hustlebear.com/misc/party-rules.html

Pictures of my place are here:
http://www.hustlebear.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

Pictures of the last couple parties are here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss

Directions to my place are here: (hills are tricky, pay attention)
http://www.hustlebear.com/misc/directions.htm

The Guest List at the door is the Facebook Invite List marked "Attending". I'm printing it out and giving it to the doorman.Hurry and RSVP now because I will close the list at 220 people, I can't accommodate everyone, and I don't want to deal with a party bigger than that. Don't promote this, and definitely don't mass text a bunch of douchebags. They won't get in anyway.

No Pluses. Want to bring some cool friends? They've got to confirm themselves on the Facebook invite. You can't add them if they're not already invited. Ask me and I'll try to take care of you. Before you ask me, ask yourself the golden question: Will Judd actually want my friend in his home?

I know I've been kind of a dick in the past about not letting in a bunch of guys I don't know. Well, I haven't changed. There's a lot of valid reasons why guys need to be restricted a lot more heavily than girls in order to have a successful party. But the truth is, I asked my mom if it's ok to let in some more dudes this time, and she said no.

Congratulations, you've got some awesome plans this Saturday! See you soon :)

(ps. oh yeah, check out my blog at http://hustlebear.com/ there's a lot coming there soon)

and maybe john mcenroe...

2010-07-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

slow mo, bestiality, misogyny

2010-07-01T14:31:00.000-07:00

these are a few of my favorite things

(via miss k)

cold freezin' night

2010-06-30T11:50:00.001-07:00

The Books - A Cold Freezin' Night

baloji

2010-06-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Congolese artist Baloji

BALOJI feat. KONONO n1 - KARIBU YA BINTOU from BALOJI on Vimeo.

LE JOUR D'APRES / SIKU YA BAADAYE (INDEPENDANCE CHA-CHA) from BALOJI on Vimeo.

Let's Paint,Exercise,& Blend Drinks TV!

2010-06-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

(via w)

roach gigz

2010-05-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

best rapper in the bay right now. get to know roach gigz: http://www.southernhospitality.co.uk/blog/?p=9658

Roach Gigz - My Girl Look Better from Aris Jerome on Vimeo.

Roach Gigz - Respect It from Aris Jerome on Vimeo.

Roach Gigz - I'm Up ( The Drug Song ) from Aris Jerome on Vimeo.

Roach Gigz - Magic Gas from Aris Jerome on Vimeo.

dick slang

2010-05-06T20:53:00.001-07:00

bout to start slangin' in da club:

(via w)

short fuse, black dynamite

2010-05-03T10:30:00.001-07:00

fot i hose

2010-04-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

norway

big time timmy jim

2010-04-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

roundball rock

2010-04-24T02:35:00.001-07:00

maybe the best thing i've ever seen, ever:

via j-lo

blk jks

2010-04-22T22:19:00.001-07:00

five: picture time!

2010-04-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

"Why do I do all this shit for you bastards? Well, the truth is, I guess I'm a sucker."

Wow, the crowd quality gets better with each party here. And this time the crowd here was truly exceptional and extremely high quality. More than the drinks, the food, the location, or even the host, is the crowd. I'm all about keeping a great crowd, and I hope to define my parties around that more than anything else.

There's some pictures up on facebook, more to come. Mainly just from Mike Allen and Doug Hac (Rudy was delayed by a Valet giving his car to someone else, which took a while to sort out [fucking valets], and Den was delayed by family matters). You'll notice Mike's photos are either 70s sugar pastel colored or black and white. Doug's are obvious from his bold crisp images without any flash this time so the background settings felt more natural.
And now... ready... set... start your tagging!
(If you don't have facebook, you can see the pictures here: http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss)

I'm gonna admit that I might have over panicked when I saw 352 confirmed. It seems that my response scared the shit out of a whole bunch a people that I wanted to see here, but were afraid that they wouldn't get in. My bad. It was late, I was sleep deprived. The message got too complex. There probably was a better response than bluntly chopping 100 people off the list and removing most people's pluses. Eh, yeah, jesus, impulsively cutting everyone's pluses at 4am, not good.

I did get a little bit of hate mail over that last message. And that's fine. I for one never have any problem with offending people. But after receiving some friendly criticism from good friends, I've come to realize that maybe my message came off sounding like a bully. I don't like to hear that, but maybe it's true. Fair enough. I'll figure out an even better way to juggle the needs of guests, my neighbors, physical constraints of my house, my budget, my desire to keep my house protected, my desire to say edgy shit, and not acting like a power tripper. Try managing all that while running active companies, writing posts for a new blog, responding to a flurry of guest list requests, and feeling the increasing effects of severe sleep deprivation. It gets tricky.

Why do I do all this shit for you bastards? Well, the truth is, I guess I'm a sucker. And maybe I actually like you guys. Anyhow, I can certainly say the party was an amazing success, and I woke up the next day with a big smile on my face.

There was just one thing though that pissed me off. Who the fuck threw the fucking pinata bear off the balcony? A shame on you. I was looking everywhere for him. (I snapped pictures of the homicide scene in the morning, it's in the photo album). I would like to make a quick tribute to him, our late pinata bear friend. I asked the pinata shop to make me a bear, and to make him look mean, angry, tough and badass. When I went to pick him up Saturday and I finally saw him, well, fuck, he wasn't at all what I had in mind. A little retarded looking, but still, at the party he was loved just the same. Poor bastard, he was gone before his time. In just one more hour he would have been bludgeoned to death with a large stick passed around by blindfolded girls to swing at him until his insides rip open and spew chocolate candies everywhere for all to enjoy. Who the fuck invented the pinata anyway?

Hmm… … … hmm… maybe it was a suicide?

I'm gonna leave you with word of my newest posts at Hustle Bear, where I make the strong case for honesty in business, and I introduce you to one of the greatest albums that you've never heard. Check it out at
http://hustlebear.com
If you like what you see so far, remember to become a fan
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hustle-Bear/373841992867
And share the posts like a motherfucker if you enjoy them. Sharing makes a happier Hustle Bear :)

I'm really happy about how many great people were here Saturday night. This party wasn't SIIIICKKKK and Off The Chain!, but just really comfortable and fun with very friendly people. That's what I like. I'm motivated now to be setting things up more frequently, so stay tuned.

Until next time my friends, be well.

Your friend,

Judd

(ps. Check if there's any open reservations left, and if so, I'll be at Craig Clemens' dinner party tonight at East. His dinner parties are always classy and a good time, so come out. It's a good chance for us to hang a bit without me having the stress of organizing this time. More details here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=107285082644933)

(pps. Who's the guy who runs this blog Ample Minded?
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/

I just saw this yesterday. You're obviously on my friends list as you've collect all of my invite messages since September including the latest ones. Don't know if I should be flattered or concerned as I'm not sure I want all that private info presented quite so openly on the web, and especially the messages where I was out of my mind furious that someone stole an expensive watch at a previous party (and maybe you could have picked some better pictures of me for some of your posts, but anyhow…). If you're reading this, send me a message [judd@weissinvestment.com]; there's no contact info on your site and I know you read every single one of my messages [you have 11 posts tagged to me and no more than 3 tagged to any other topic on your blog over the last year])

four: Seasonal Trimming

2010-04-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

"All the girls that come with you are fine, and will still get in as long as the girls don't look like Godzilla just ate King Kong."

Jesus, this sucker got out of hand. 352 people confirmed! Ain't happening. Not physically possible. Not desired. Physical reality required me to cut over a 100 of you. That's a lot of people dude, a crowd of 100 is a party on its own.

Log into the AnyVite to see your results. If you're in the "Yes" section, you're good, I'll see you tomorrow. If you're in the "Maybe" section, you're good, I'll probably see you tomorrow. If your name has been moved to the "No" section, that's not good my friend, don't come tomorrow.

If you received the email that you've been cut from the list, please don't show up or try to buy your way in. It won't work, it's a private party and I can't deal with that many people.

Most of you might notice your pluses have been reduced (+5 has been cut down to +1). Don't freak out! If that happened to you, what that really means is, I've decided you can bring no more than 1 guy with you (if you want to bring a guy). If your pluses have been removed entirely, then I've decided you cannot bring any guys with you.
All the girls that come with you are fine, and will still get in as long as the girls don't look like Godzilla just ate King Kong. I'm serious, doorman is checking for that.

This all means that the real confirm count is still significantly higher that the 235 you see on the Anyvite. It doesn't represent a lot of the girls.
Remember: The Facebook invite means nothing. The list on the Anyvite is what the doorman will have in his hands.
If you really think I made a mistake about you and your group, you can email me to explain (judd@weissinvestment.com), but negotiations are over as far as I'm concerned. I've got all the people I want here.

And if you do bring a guy friend, make sure he's an unusual amazing high quality guy. If I see the friend you bring getting belligerently drunk and sport hunting girls, you won't be back here.

So girls, don't fret; if you're female and come with a good attitude and a good look, then it's all good, you are just fine, whether you are confirmed at all or not.

Ok, now that that's sorted out, just want to address one other controversy.
I'll admit it. Sometimes, I go too far. The little "douchebag" introspection point I made in the last message seemed to upset some guys who thought they were my friends. Maybe that wasn't cool of me, and I feel bad if I embarrassed you. Being the nice guy that I am, I'm gonna make sure you don't spend the night empty handed. Let me recommend an excellent game for you to play Saturday night in the privacy of your own home or in the company of close friends. You can read all about it here:
http://bitsandpieces.us/2010/03/22/grab-your-gonads/

Everyone, I just found out something extremely alarming! Some of you are NOT a fan on Hustle Bear's fan page. I don't understand. I thought we were cool like that.
If you are a decent person, go to the Facebook Fan Page
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hustle-Bear/373841992867
Click "Become a Fan", and let's work together to make the world a better place for me and you.

I've got a new post up explaining how I put my mom on an internet dating site. Check it out:
http://hustlebear.com

On another note, I'm gonna do you all a favor, and share a tip with you about my friend Craig Clemens' dinner party on Tuesday at the Elegant asian fusion restaurant, East. I'll be there and it's open to anyone classy, so whoever wants to come can join me. Craig always puts together events that I love and try to live up to. Incidentally he happens to be an unusually exceptional guy and one of the few writers on the planet with a writing ability I can safely say is stronger, more clever and more humorous than mine. I think his dinner parties usually end up reserving the whole restaurant with a special menu for his crew. I'm excited. You can read about it here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=107285082644933

And lastly, there's something I'm required to say.
I pissed off my neighbors a year ago when I rented out my house to a hollywood promoter for a couple after parties. In order for them not to hang me, I agreed I will always inform my guests of 2 special rules. They are strict.
Rule #1) No smoking out on the street. My front patio is fine. But it's illegal to smoke in the street in this brushfire area. Every single one of the houses on my street burned down in a fire in the 60s, and my neighbors are terrified about it and when they see my guests carelessly flick cigarettes into the brush. No joke, my neighbors look for evidence with their digital cameras, so don't leave cigarette butts by the curb.
Rule #2) Neighbors would like to sleep at night. I promised my neighbors that I will always have Valet Parking mandatory at my parties, so people don't walk up the street. There is a small $4 fee per car to cover the cost, and there is no exceptions to this. Doorman will check for your Valet ticket if you didn't come by taxi. Besides, the hill gets steep, it's easier not to walk it.

Lastly lastly, please note my address:

1106 Linda Flora Dr.
Los Angeles, CA 90049

There is a tricky part in the hills one block from my house that causes many people to get lost. Please use navigation or print out my directions and put them in your car right now.
http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/directions.htm

Please don't call and text me asking for directions before or during the party. Let me repeat that, PLEASE DON'T CALL AND TEXT ME ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS BEFORE OR DURING THE PARTY. I get a million of these texts and I can't handle it when I'm setting up, so just get it squared away now.

Party is at 9. Come earlier than later so we have some breathing room to catch up before the rush comes.

Awesome. Wow. That's it folks.

There's going to be a lot of great people here tonight. I don't want to sound cheesy, but I do love my crowd. You guys are awesome. And that is what makes putting all this together worth it. Here's to tonight, and many more spent with good friends

three: The Problem with LA Parties

2010-04-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

"In time, my friend, you will thank me for removing you from the list."

What's the biggest problem with parties in LA? That's right, you guessed it.

Douchebags

If you're reading someone else's invite and you realize you've been to a party here before but you weren't invited this time; probably it wasn't a technical mistake, probably it's because you're a douchebag. You'll be invited again when you learn how to behave. Now is not the time to get angry at me, and ask me why I'm being an asshole, but a time for some self reflection. Ok, let's do this together, "Wait, am I a douche? Do I offer anything to this world beyond consuming lots of alcohol and harassing girls? Is that ultra low v-neck not so cool on me? Does my breath smell of bear and tequila? Am I burden to others, leaving mess and drama where I go? Should I try to bang that blonde girl talking to that guy on the couch? (watch out dude, you're slipping). Should I work on my habits and character, not just so I can go to Judd's parties, but to become a better man to the people I encounter in life; and also so Judd will invite me to his parties?" In time, my friend, you will thank me for removing you from the list. Until then, good luck on the soul searching.

Girls, start picking out the outfit for your next facebook profile pic! There will be 4 Fucking Awesome professional photographers at the party Saturday. Each has their own creative edge. I'm lucky to know them as friends, otherwise this alone would cost me several thousand.
We've got:
Doug Hac http://doughac.com
Den Bradshaw http://www.dendigital.com
Mike Allen http://mikeallenphoto.com
Rudy Torres http://rudytorresrocks.com/
Overkill maybe, but they're invited as friends to enjoy the party, not hired as photographers. They want to take some shots and I'm not going to argue with that!

Looks like Vlad is a celebrity now, everyone's talking about him, and I think it's going to his head, and I think… oh he's right here and wants to say something about it. Hold on…

"Hello, is Vlad here. Is you shy because I celebrity? Vlad understand, not everyone so sexy like me. But at Judd Party, don't to be distracted by my beautiful. When I speaking, you listening. You must to respecting rule and you must to respecting me. I want tell story of…"

And ok, that's enough from Vlad. I'm gonna let him speak some more in the future at Hustle Bear. Why not? I like him. I'll give him his own series.

Glad you guys are enjoying my new blog
http://hustlebear.com
I've got a lot in the works for that baby. So add it to your RSS. Subscribe to it by email
http://hustlebear.com/2010/04/06/subscribe-by-email/
Become a fan on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hustle-Bear/373841992867
And continue stroking my delicate ego with your wonderful feedback

A ton of people are emailing me asking to be comped free for the party, telling me how they love me and all that. Look, I don't want your love, I want your money. Pay up bitch!
But seriously, look, I know we're good friends, but these parties always cost me a couple thousand to put together. If I do several a year, it's a pretty sizable expense. I would hope that you can find within your heart somewhere the desire to contribute just a tiny little bit for your share. Thank you, I do appreciate it.

Girls are free at the door. And girls, yes, you can bring your girlfriends. But just don't bring any cluster bombs. You know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Lastly I'm probably gonna shut down the list tonight. Check the Anyvite, I've got enough people, and I don't like it when it gets too big. I do believe that the more people at a party, the less you meet.

To the many of you still emailing me, texting me and facebooking me your confirmation, I don't know how to be more clear with you. The only way to confirm for this party is on the Anyvite. The guest list is there. I'm gonna close the list soon, and you're gonna be shut out of the party even though you sent me a message days ago. Go to the Anyvite and handle it now.

It's very easy. There's 3 cute buttons. Yes, Maybe, and No. Pick one. Click it. And be done with it.

See you all Saturday!!

two: Rules

2010-04-09T14:00:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to be walking around with "Snooki" radar and I better not see no "Situation" here."

Remember this party has rules:
http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/party-rules.html
This time to help enforce The Rules, I've got my friend Vlad. He's from Russia. He's big. And sometimes he… oh wait, he's right here and wants to speak. Hold on...

"Hello, is Vlad here. I from Russia. I make sure everybody follow all the rule. One is we put sign on bed it saying "Do Not to Fuck". Other rule is "Do not to cocaine". Judd he make many rule. These rule for protect house and for protect you. If you not follow rule is no more protect for you. I want tell story of my girl, Oxana. One time she say to me, "Vlad, you are pig, you are bastard, you not respect people." She only say these stupid words once. Now she behave and follow all rule. I also hope you behave and follow all rule."

Ok, I'm back, it's Judd. I love Vlad, he's great at getting right to the point. Sometimes he's a bit misunderstood, because he has no concern for these things like mercy and respect for human life. But he's not a bad guy. He did bring his mom flowers for mother's day. Just be cool, be safe, read The Rules and follow them, and you'll be ok with Vlad.

Okay, you know how all girls can supposedly relate to one of the Sex and the City characters and all guys can relate to one of the Entourage characters? (I claim Ari btw) Well I want you guys to do me a favor and go to MTV's site and watch the first episode of Jersey Shore. Seriously, watch it. Do you (guy or girl) absolutely totally identify with one of the characters? Actually, even if you're not Italian, do you or your friends slightly resemble one of the characters in some small insignificant way? Good, fuck you, you're not coming to the party. I'm going to be walking around with "Snooki" radar and I better not see no "Situation" here.

A ton of you are calling me, texting me, emailing me and facebooking me about you and your friends coming this Saturday. Jesus, please don't do that. I'm not keeping track of it all. THE ANYVITE IS THE GUEST LIST. Please add yourself there by clicking either of the cute buttons labeled YES, MAYBE, or NO. If you're not on the guest list, I won't help you at the door, so go handle it right now.

Oh and I'm glad to hear the response to Hustle Bear, my new Blog, has been so good.
http://hustlebear.com
Clearly the Bailout the Gold Diggers post is getting the best response. There's a couple new posts up, and I've got a lot planned for Hustle Bear in the future; there will be a lot of unique achievement and business advice explained in my special way. So stay tuned.
Having a bunch of Facebook fans makes Judd happy, so become a Hustle Bear fan and make Judd happy
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hustle-Bear/373841992867

The reason each party here is amazing is because I'm so blessed to have such high quality friends. Looking forward to seeing you all Saturday :)

one: You're Invited to "Judd's Bel Air House Party (and announcing HustleBear.com)"

2010-04-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Consider it an offering to the ancient gods of the house parties."

Judd's Bel Air House Party (and announcing HustleBear.com)

Listen, I want to tell you something. It's a secret, so keep quiet about it. Shhhh....

I'm throwing another house party

HEY! Fuck, be quiet. Stop jumping around and sit back down.

Everyone keeps asking me "When's your next house party? When's your next house party? When's your next house party? When's your..." Seriously guys you can chill because the next party is this Saturday, April 10.

Like always there will be a full bar, food, valet, and awesome people to meet in a cool modern home in the hills of Bel Air. If you're looking for a loud banging fist-pumping dance party, hit up a hollywood dance club. This is a more social loungey affair, with good music, with good energy, with good people that you can actually speak to without yelling.

The Party Rules are here: (I'm serious, read the motherfucking rules. they're updated)

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/party-rules.html

Pictures of my place are here:

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

Pictures of the last couple parties are here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss

Directions to my place are here: (hills are tricky, pay attention)

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/directions.htm

Also, some other BIG NEWS. I've just launched a Blog! Like right now. You're the first to know about it. I'm excited about it, and I want your honest feedback before launching it further. So let me know what you think.

http://hustlebear.com

And become a fan on facebook

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hustle-Bear/373841992867

Back to the party...

I'm on a quest to figure out how to throw a great party here without coming out of pocket a few thousand dollars each time. Nothing I've tried has worked so far. If I can figure out a way to cover most of my costs, I will do this a lot more often. And you will have access to more excellent house parties filled with a phenomenal crowd.

So I'm experimenting with a new setup this time. Girls are free, but I'm charging Guys $10 at the door. Yes even though we're good friends, yes even if your mom used to make us pancakes when we were little. Consider it an offering to the ancient gods of the house parties. On top of that, everyone will be charged a small amount per drink.

Beer = $1.50 donation to the ancient gods of the house parties

All Mixed Drinks = $2.50 donation to the ancient gods of the house parties

All Non-Alcoholic Drinks = Free, but you're welcome to make a donation to the ancient gods of the house parties

If you want to bring your friends, email me (judd@weissinvestment.com) their names so I can add them to the list.

MEN, this is serious, your full name must be on the list if you want to get past the doorman. Email me the names of all the guys in your group, even though you've RSVP'd here. Being only a buddy's +1 will not get you past the door.

GIRLS, being simply a +1 is fine for you.

Oh and lastly, don't tell too many people about this. Don't promote this. I cannot accommodate everyone as it is. The list shuts tight at 250 people, and if you've been to a party here before, you know I close the list in a couple days. DO NOT call me or facebook me to confirm, CONFIRM ON THE ANYVITE. The Anyvite list is the guestlist at the door. Make sure you confirm on the Anyvite RIGHT NOW if you want to come. Let's see if you can figure that out...

Congratulations, you have new plans for this Saturday. See you guys soon. :)

(previous Judd Posts:
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/one-rsvp-for-bel-air-house-party.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/two-your-next-profile-picture.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/three-snip.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/four-saturday.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/five-pictures-and-grand-theft.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/six-retribution.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/seven-ethics.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2009/10/eight-no-more-updates.html
http://ampleminded.blogspot.com/2010/01/available-room-for-rent-at-my-house-in.html)

two-faced

2010-04-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

(via frenchie)

death

2010-03-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

"he had it comin'"
is like
"only the good die young"
for assholes.

catch phrase!

2010-03-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

black ppl at trader joe's

2010-03-15T11:35:00.001-07:00

my friend told me this happened.

cocteau twins

2010-03-13T12:27:00.001-08:00

had a flashback to my childhood last night. i had a COCTEAU TWINS cassette of BLUE BELL KNOLL and i thought the lead singer had either made up her own language or was just singing complete gibberish (or was "spesh" a la CHRISTY BROWN). turns out she's actually saying stuff, just in a loopy way.

get it, girl.

is ish nah!

two thousand and late

2010-03-02T17:41:00.000-08:00

was checking out coolhunting.com today to see what's cool in the hunting world, and was totally shocked to find them promoting a bracelet called BOWLING ARM that i totally blogged about at my old blog BEEZIES AND BANKROLLS in a feature on ASYMMETRIC LIMBZ a whole, what, TWO YEARS AGO!? (so old there's a broken link in the post!) way to be on the cutting edge, lamehunting.

check out the future in the past on beeziesandbankrolls: http://beeziesandbankrolls.blogspot.com/search/label/asymmetric%20limbz

and the past in the present at lamehunting: http://www.coolhunting.com/style/bowling-arm.php?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ch+%28Cool+Hunting%29

dougie

2010-02-27T19:17:00.001-08:00

teach me how to dougie:

california swag district - teach me how to dougie
from inglewood

a baby wolf with neon blues

2010-02-10T16:09:00.001-08:00

lewis and his fantastic reliquary

2010-01-31T18:57:00.000-08:00

LEWIS AND HIS FANTASTIC RELIQUARY

The gargoyle keeps falling off his house. Fortunately, the muddy lawn below provides a soft landing pad for the massive stone creature.

Methods of attachment: duct tape, tie-wire, rope, bungee cord (too flexible), mortar.

Lewis’ ex-wife shows up to ask about an old photo album and an antique lamp (very pretty despite its broken power fixture). She walks right by the fallen gargoyle with its head halfway buried in the lawn. The mortar failed to dry.

Having caused him great embarrassment, Lewis eyes the gargoyle angrily as he answers the door.

“This isn’t working,” she says.

“What?” The gargoyle?

“This isn’t working, I need to be able to get my stuff without these stupid rules of yours.”

“It’s only your stuff if it wants to be.” The mortar was his best idea yet. Follow the directions next time.

“Lewis, what’s happened to you? You need closure.”

He closes the door.

Knock knock. Open.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

***

The next time it takes the gutter down with it. He should have known the gargoyle’s long protruding neck and head would be a hefty, imbalanced load for the fragile gutter to hold.

“…the ’83 photo album and the shell lamp,” she says.

“It doesn’t work.”

“It never worked, it’s still beautiful.”

He cringes, it is beautiful, as is her new foyer where he is sure the lamp would live happily ever after.

“Where are you taking the ’83 photo album?”

“Charles built a nice pine bookcase.”

Pine? Soft, light wood. He doesn’t like the sound of it.

“You have a picture?”

She sighs. “No.”

He doesn’t look her in the eyes, “I’d like to see a picture of it first. That’s our deal.”

Blinks. “Fine. The lamp.”

She waits while he fetches the lamp from his dark study. The pearl white shells painted on it seem to glow as he hands the relic over to his ex-wife. So it was to be.

***

The corner of the roof collapses.

“Flying buttress.”

“One more time.”

“Fly-ing butt-ress,” the hardware clerk repeats. “It’s an exterior arch that supports the roof like a crutch. Read a book.”

Lewis giggles from start to finish.

He erects a beautiful flying buttress on Saturday and on Sunday he secures the gargoyle with a thick layer of fresh mortar.

His ex-wife comes on Monday with a picture of the finely crafted pine case. Blue with goldleaf shelves.

Lewis peeks from behind the curtains.

She never gets out of her car-- the gargoyle is proud and terrifying.

love on wheels

2010-01-30T18:25:00.000-08:00

BONUS:

50 ways to leave your lover

2010-01-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

been married so many times, she's got rice marks all over her face:

hop on the bus gus:

give me my money back you bitch:

make a new plan, stan

Sir Victor Uwaifo & His Melody Maestros

2010-01-15T16:54:00.001-08:00

old ppl watching television

2010-01-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

when old ppl hear a phone ring on TV they always think it's a real phone.

-it's probably henry!
-mrs. fallabur, your husband has been dead for years.

Available Room for Rent at My House in Bel Air

2010-01-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

"Most importantly, there's access to ME"

Well friends, my awesome roommate and great friend Sebastian is moving on to travel around Asia for a couple years. I just dropped him off at the airport this morning. There is now an available room for rent in my house, and you now have a chance to live here. I want to give a chance to you my friends before I advertise it on craigslist.

I'm asking $1400/month. That's not chump change, but then again this house costs me over $10,000/month as one expense in my life, and I wish I could live here that cheap. What do you get for $1400? Well if you've been to one of my parties here, then you know. Otherwise, take a look at these pictures:

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

You will live in Bel Air with views of the Getty Center in front of the Ocean and endless green canyon views everywhere. Sometimes you can look out your window and see deer and rabbits, amazing as you're only a couple minutes from the activity of either Westwood Village or Brentwood Village. We're just north of Westwood and Sunset Blvd., just east of the 405. Maid cleans whole house every other Saturday. There is ample Parking, Laundry Machines, Wireless High Speed Internet. You'll have your own bathroom and a glass wall overlooking the canyon.
I don't know of anything better you can get for the price. I've spent almost $500,000 transforming the house with remodeling, furniture and art to create an extremely modern /contemporary feel. Kitchen is fully stocked with most anything you can think of. There's a Movie Room with an 80" TV and stocked with several hundred DVDs.
Most importantly, there's access to ME. Being around me and watching me put together multi-million dollar deals, there's no doubt a ton of valuable traits will rub off onto you. I'm a disciplined hardcore motherfucker with a highly developed ability to get shit done and make things happen. I've trained many in the skills of negotiating, sales, and all around hustling. So I'll be around, and I'm happy to help anyone who's willing to do what it takes to move forward.
I throw parties here every once in a while and you should get a chance to meet some cool people.
There is one other roommate currently living here, also an intelligent high achieving guy.And that's the vibe I want here. Positive ambitious young professionals on the rise.

Some restrictions:
NO GIRLS, especially if you're attractive.
No couples, no children.
No smokers. No pets. No savages.
You are extremely clean, responsible and very considerate of those you live with, or at least willing to be.
I prefer someone in his mid 20s to early 30s.
That's it.

If it's not for you, but you know someone else that would be perfect, let him know. But whatever you do, do it quickly. I'm pretty impulsive and make decisions fast. I'm very selective about who I live with, but you've got a real shot right now. The room is available now. You can come check it out anytime. I'm looking for someone to move in before February.

Follow this link for Satellite View and Street View
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=1106+Linda+Flora+Dr,+Los+Angeles,+CA+90049

If you're interested
email me at judd@weissinvestment.com
Or even better, call me anytime at 310-476-8295

20 best tracks of 2009

2009-12-28T18:03:00.000-08:00

b/c everybody's doing it.

since there's no ANIMAL COLLECTIVE on the list, i've included quotes from assorted ANCO MERRIWEATHER PP reviews to describe each song. "MPP will surely hold steady as one of 2009's touchstones, one whose exclusion from lists of year-end-bests would represent a more profound gesture than its inclusion." via NoRipcord

AMPLEMINDED 20 BEST TRACKS OF 2009 (alphabetical):
(DOWNLOAD THE TRACKS HERE: http://www.sendspace.com/file/jwuedj)

Bat For Lashes - Glass
"strings pulsating through water, dripping in gothic textures before the spluttering water gives way to a ground shaking tribal pulse" (via sputnik music)

Big Boi - Shine Blockas feat Gucci Mane
"gorgeously confident" (via billboard)

Chiddy Bang - Truth feat Passion Pit
"it’s quite remarkable that the emphasis on loops, samples, and electronics can convey such primal ecstasy, further dissolving the constructed wall between electronic music and "authenticity"" (via tinymixtapes)

Discovery - So Insane
"a kind of fried reverie, envying the rapturous abandon of a girl dancing in a field, “high on her own movement”" (via UNCUT)

Dorrough - Ice Cream Paint Job
"chooses creativity and empathy over bitterness and jealousy, refracts his sadness into tribute, takes the lemons he's been sitting on, squeezes them dry, quenches his thirst, and blows his own mind" [editorial LOL] (via NoRipcord)

Dream, The - Rockin' That Shit
"grows from a synth-speckled, half-speed intro into [...] a towering edifice of sound trailed by long wisps of West coast harmonies" (via pitchfork)

Jeremih - Birthday Sex
"Lyrics have never been a strong point for the band, and so it remains here." (via prefix)

Junior Boys - Parallel Lines
"it can make you smile, and feel sad, and like you want to dance, often all at the same time" (via prefix)

Kennedy - Karate
"convincingly reminiscent of third-graders" (via village voice)

La Roux - In For The Kill
"The banshee wails, the blood-pumping-in-the-ears rhythms, the straight MDMA hits of melody" (via LAtimes)

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance
"full of effervescent, transportive oddity" (via Entertainment Weekly)

Lily Allen - Straight to Hell (feat. Mick Jones)
"has the airy ease of 1970s soft-rock that weirdly winds up a little disconcerting" (via pitchfork)

Major Lazer - Hold The Line feat. Mr. Lexx & Santigold
"warped lock-groove and propulsive Brazilian rhythms" (via prefix)

Miike Snow - Animal
"moves from one chanted melodic nugget to the next before building to a huge swirl of psychedelic sound" (via pitchfork)

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
"a dreamy, floating chorus of voices and gently picked strings that glides on top of a booming, lock-step bass thud" (via paste)

Richard Vission & Static Revenger starring Luciana - I Like That
"ecstatic and informed by ecstasy" (via The Observer UK)

Royksopp - Happy Up Here
"acidic synths and clattering beats all combining to create utter elation" (via prefix)

Simian Mobile Disco - Audacity Of Huge (feat. Chris Keating)
"woot-woot sensory overload" (via paste)

Wale - Chillin Ft. Lady Gaga
"hooky samples and maniacally propulsive beats that basically act as marionette strings for an audience that can’t help but move its arms and legs in appreciation" (via paste)

XX, The - Crystalised
"a long, droney coda that has the ego-pulverizing bliss of shoegaze" (via pitchfork)

BTW, WM's picks for absolute best track of the year goes to PASSION PIT - SLEEPYHEAD.
best album: DISCOVERY - LP

kay kay kay

2009-12-20T12:36:00.001-08:00

ugly ppl have to buy diamonds to get a kiss. poor ppl have to buy their diamonds at malls. deaf ppl can't hear.

BONUS:
these ppl aren't really in love. you can tell they have "compromised":

women as monsters

2009-12-07T13:22:00.000-08:00

everyone i know is afraid of women. irrational and sharp in places, women are dangerous like monsters.

Major Lazer "Keep it Going Louder" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

they eat lots, then puke and make a mess.

and they spend like all day in the tub. hello, i need to use the bathroom.

women.

honking goose and other cocaine/animal metaphors

2009-12-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

throughout the history of music, songwriters have endeavored to accurately convey the sensation of a big fat snooter full of pow-wow through music.

when i do coke, it makes me feel like i'm riding a mythical white animal. a swan?

a horse?

a rabbit?

a girl? (not LiLo)

but none of these captures the a/v sensation of a hooter full of yay quite like this wonderful youtube video:

that bird's been honking goose.

flying squirrel

2009-11-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

take that, natalie p.!

2009-11-17T12:04:00.000-08:00

via huffington post:
"Eating "rare" delicacies just got to a new level. In China, chefs have figured out a way to keep a fish alive as it gets deep fried and then waits to be eaten."

via azns:

slow motion for me

2009-11-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

(via j-lo)

these ppl are so punchable:

peep this shrimp with a punch so fast it boils water:

THE AMPLEMINDED GUIDE TO EATING DOGS

2009-11-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

dear readers,
ampleminded is pleased to announce its first corporate sponsor:
PETSTEW.COM is THE one-stop interweb portal for all your puppy-eating needs!

for noobs out there that aren't familiar with dog eating, AMPLEMINDED PRESENTS:

THE AMPLEMINDED GUIDE TO EATING DOGS
brought to you by PETSTEW.COM

01 - choose the breed of dog you want to eat. from the peppery Affenpinscher to the yeasty Wirehaired Pointing Griffon, all breeds have their own unique bouquet, flavor, and mouth-feel. some breeds lend themselves naturally to certain ethnic preparations and pairings, obvious examples include Australian Shepherds Pie, Boston Baked Terrier, Bloodhound Sausage, and Bolognese Bolognese.

02 - now that you've selected your breed, pick your pup from PETSTEW'S DOGS FOR SALE database! this is where you'll find the cream of the crop, "kobe" canines. depending on what you've decided to cook, you'll want to select a pup of the appropriate age. younger dogs tend to be leaner and more tender (like veal), while adult dogs have meat with a more developed character. if you're bargain shopping, click over to PETSTEW'S ADOPT A DOG page. here you'll find a diverse selection of mutts, many full-grown and fattened from years of table-scraps. read up on your pooch's history, and never pick your meat with out a pic!

03 - congrats, you're well on your way to EATING DOGS! but hold ur horses there Flash! a good sauce takes time! once you've secured your furry little meat wagon (or wagons-- someone's having a bark-b-cue!), you'll probably want to fatten it up a bit. to ensure proper marbling, click on over to PETSTEW.COM's SHOP and buy as small a cage as you can squeeze your yapper into. the ideal cage will be constrictive enough to prevent your pup from pesky movement which can lead to muscle development (and stringy, tough meat-- yuck!), but remember to leave a few inches all around for those extra layers of fat. bean burritos from taco bell are a good cheap way to beef Rover up, but if you take this methane-enriched path, be sure that your meat-cage is stored in a well-ventilated area.

04 - now that your pup is fat 'n prime, it's time to carve 'em up! when butchering, treat larger dogs like small cows, and mini's like big cats. here's a good how-to video:

now get in that kitchen and show 'em who's boss! god gave US thumbs for a reason! they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach-- well then, best friends, get in my belly!

thanks PETSTEW.COM! BONE appetit!

spoooooooky play!

2009-11-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

the youth

2009-11-02T14:24:00.001-08:00

MGMT - The Youth from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

when it rains in orange county...

2009-10-14T23:48:00.001-07:00

they beat up homeless people.
they also take the time to condition their hair.

what else do they do?

turn it up

2009-10-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

i find instructive music to be helpful. i'll be feeling a neat groove, but don't know how to externalize my energy, then the hook comes along and the artist tells me to "shake a Polaroid" or "smack my bitch up" and i know exactly what to do. unfortunately, i often find myself sans Polaroid or bitch. thankfully, some songs demand only the purest form of musical user-involvement: "TURNING IT UP"

simple enough, right? that song makes me turn the knob clockwise every time. some artists take it further, not only instructing me to "TURN IT UP" but also using their music video to show me "how to get my shine on" via a clean car:

then there are artists who tell me to "TURN IT UP" metaphorically. this can be confusing, especially when paired with a surreal music video:

other artists use the title ironically, naming a total shit song "TURN IT UP," knowing that nobody will do so:

more like "TURN IT OFF." burn.
then there are variants of "TURN IT UP" that use colloquialisms like "CRANK IT UP" to convey a similar message in terms the kids love:

these guys are really clever, they whisper "TURN IT UP" so that you have to turn it up to hear them!

it's loud in here!

eight: no more updates

2009-10-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

"I have a ruthless sense of justice that goes beyond the laws on our books. I'll handle this privately from now on."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

No more updates guys.
Watch wasn't returned tonight, and this confirms what I knew to be true. The thief has nothing to do with my friends list. I made it a pretty easy decision to return the watch, that whatever he can get for it isn't worth the nightmare of an explicit maniac like me hunting him down. If the thief was on my list, or knew someone on my list, he would have made certain that watch was at my door by tonight. I know that the friends on my list are exceptional people, incapable of doing this to me. Even a shady career criminal who knows me wouldn't do this to me. I'm very good to people in my life, and I'm used to getting only exceptional goodwill from others. And I also assume that anyone who knows me knows it's not a good idea to piss me off. I knew the thief had to have been one of those sketchy douchey hollywood types that didn't know me or know it's my house, but somehow randomly found out about my party, and showed up after I let the doorman leave early (I'm kicking myself for that mistake many times a day), then looked around downstairs for something to take. But I just had to explore all options, just in case it was possibly related to my list somehow.

So here's a thought exercise. Ask yourself what you would actually do here. You have just lost $20,000; but not by gambling in the stock market (which would hurt bad), someone stole it from you. And they stole it from you when you were being generous and open. And what they stole wasn't yours, it was your friend's, a friend who trusted you, who is now hurt even though you're taking full responsibility. And now you must go out there and bust your ass to earn that money, not to add to your life and move your future further, but to replace the damage caused by a thief who violated your goodwill. This is just so wrong on so many levels. I don't know what you would actually do here. But I really just can't accept it.

You guys know I love to send out fun messages that might be outrageous at times, but are ultimately positive. It's hard to be positive right now. I guess what might be positive here is that while the face value of the watch is $20,800 if it comes to it I can replace it for about $15,000; and that I'm a capable driven guy and can handle this expense financially (though maybe not emotionally).

This matter is not over for me, but it's now clear to me that it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone on this list. I have fingerprints, I have serial numbers, I have a phenomenal detailed private investigator, I have the $5000 reward out there, and I have a ruthless sense of justice that goes beyond the laws on our books.
I'll handle this privately from now on.

seven: ethics

2009-10-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

"Usually I drive to a theater and pay $10 to watch a drama unfold and see how the characters will respond. Here's one in real time."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

I just got, what, maybe a 100 emails suggesting it's not smart to make physical threats public, in writing, and blast them out to over a 1000 people. Perhaps, and thanks for looking out for me, but I meant what I said, and anyway, I don't make threats, I make promises.

Usually I drive to a theater and pay $10 to watch a drama unfold and see how the characters will respond. Here's one in real time. Glad to hear that many of you seem at least entertained by this and maybe learning something.

One thing I'm learning recently is that fury and hate are perfectly legitimate healthy viable emotions to have when the situation warrants it. Sure they're not pretty, but perhaps the greatest benefit is they inspire you not to take shit when you've been wronged. So thanks everyone for your messages of spiritual guidance of how to accept loss and move on, I do appreciate the gesture, but that's not going to get the watch back.

I live by a strong code of ethics. Not christian, not buddhist, not turn the other cheek or offer more to the thief. I protect myself, I protect the things that matter, I protect the people I care about, and I strike down without mercy those that would harm what I'm protecting. Or said another way, protect values, destroy the destroyers, and when there is something difficult but important to deal with, grow some balls and deal with it, decisively. I work hard to bring value to the world and make sure that everyone in my life benefits somehow by knowing me. I live in such a way that no one I know would trade my goodwill for hocking a stolen watch. Thieves don't live that way. They are parasites, with no regard for being anything of value to the world, focused on short term interests. Still, they wouldn't steal if they didn't have some regard for their life and survival.

To that I end, there's one thing I am certain of without a doubt, if the thief is reading my words, that watch will be on my doorstep tonight. If not, I hope the message gets to him in time. If it doesn't, pray for him.

six: retribution

2009-10-08T12:03:00.000-07:00

"I'm ramping up efforts to find this thief, even hiring people involved with the criminal underworld who understand the world of thieves[...] The hunt is on. If I catch you, you will be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

Whoa, my inbox is flooded with messages of support, offers to help, personal stories of theft, and advice on what I can do. I love you guys. I don't think there's a way to respond to you all. I'm getting a lot of repeated questions, mostly asking why the watch wasn't in a safe. Bad coordination, my roommate was leaving town and I was setting up for a party. In the commotion of issues to deal with, no one thought of a guest steeling. Hindsight is 20/20.
My roommate Andrew Ellis is paying me good rent to live in the room downstairs, I feel terrible that he should have to deal with this stress. He just moved in several months ago, and he's an extremely high quality guy. I just got back from having dinner with him at the grand opening of the new Umami Burger in Los Feliz, and I realize how much I appreciate having a roommate who is one of the most intelligent, honorable and ambitious people I've met in my life (sorry ladies, he's taken, and she's quality ;)). I wish I knew a $20,000 watch was in his closet, but it's not his fault it was stolen while he was out of town. He did me a favor and this is my responsibility. (On a side note guys, the new Umami Burger opened today at 4655 Hollywood Blvd, by Vermont, and it is now one of my favorite restaurants in Los Angeles. Cool place and incredible food, let me know what you think)

After reading today all the outpouring of personal stories of theft done to good people, I'm only more embattled. There is something truly awful about thieves living as parasites off the good people in our society. It's of a higher order altogether when someone enjoys your hospitality and generosity, then uses your trust and openness to fuck you. Extreme terror and fear must be driven into the hearts of thieves everywhere. Perhaps people just feel so resigned and helpless these days. Not me.
I'm ramping up efforts to find this thief, even hiring people involved with the criminal underworld who understand the world of thieves and believe they'll be able to find this guy if he's in the city. There's over 1000 people reading this, and there's a lot of people they know who could use that $5000 reward money.

To the Thief: If you are reading this, I am really starting to feel bad for you. You made a terrible foolish mistake. I have 3 businesses to run and expand, but now I have a new passion project: You. I am consumed with hate and you're the lucky star of the show. Decide what's best for you. Clock is ticking, if you want me to leave you alone to live your life in peace, you have until Sunday night to return the watch with an apology note at my door. Come Monday the hunt is on. If I catch you, you will be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. That is the beginning of my retribution, and the start of my next art project.

If anyone has any kind of info, there is a $5000 reward. Call me at 310-476-8295 or email me at judd@weissinvestment.com

five: Pictures and Grand Theft

2009-10-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

"I would suggest you cut off your own finger tips and start running, fast.[...]This could be my masterpiece."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

Let's start this off on a positive note because I have some bad news to get to in a bit.

Good News: Pictures are up on Facebook!!!
Ready……… Set……… Start tagging everyone you know!
(If you don't have facebook, you can see them all here: http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss)

Wow, 366 photos up. Let's give some tremendous respect to the photographers of the night.
Den Bradshaw (http://www.dendigital.com) always delivers with stylish Event Photography
Mike Allen (http://mikeallenphoto.com) did some impressive artistic Black and Whites
Rudy Torres (http://rudytorresrocks.com) continues with his glamorous fashion show style
Doug Hac (http://doughac.com) created some truly stunning surreal photos from lighting effects
I'm so lucky I know these talented guys. My advice, make sure you ask them to your event.

Holding a tight door pays off. This was an awesome crowd!!! Some were telling me this was the best crowd I've ever had. The people were Friendly, Intelligent, Attractive, Sophisticated and Fun. Unfortunately a bunch of people I did want to come misunderstood, thinking they were cut and wouldn't be allowed in. Casualties of war I guess. I remember looking around at about Midnight wondering to myself "Is this the best party I've ever been to in LA?". Certainly a contender. After it was all over, that night (eh, early morning), exhausted from the stress of organizing, preparing, then entertaining, realizing that I only covered about 1/3 the cost from the door charge, and looking upon the mess that my anally and precisely maintained home has become, I fell asleep happy that I pulled off something epic.

The next day, this all changed. When my fairly new roommate Andrew got back in town from Texas on Sunday, he found items in his closet moved around and his most expensive possession on this planet, a $20,000 rare watch was stolen. For a watch, it has ridiculously high monetary value to him and ridiculously high sentimental value to him. I told him I threw the party, I asked to use your room, this is my responsibility, this is not your problem anymore, you can stop freaking out and calm down now.
Truth is, this is my fault. I made a mistake. Around 2:30am the doorman told me no one has come for about a half hour, and asked to go home early. He knew the party was going until 3:30, but I decided to be cool and let him go early. Big mistake. After he left, a bunch of random hollywood after-party types started showing up and I had no way of controlling the door. I had been turning away guys all night, now I saw a couple of guys I had earlier turned away in my house, making themselves drinks, and acting like drunk idiots. I was irritated, but I lost track of who came with who, and who just crashed the party. The crowd definitely dwindled down by this point, and it's then when no one was hanging out downstairs anymore that I think someone went through my roommate's closet, moved away his clothes and books and found the watch case.

I couldn't sleep Sunday night. I was ready to start a murderous rampage. Jesus, I was trying to be a good guy and share a good time with a bunch of my friends at my place, and I ended up with $20,000 hit. I would like to remain positive here, but I don't see how I can. This is devastating and I feel like I wish I never threw a party. The Party was excellent, but one act by one guy (who I'm sure wasn't invited) ruined it all. I wish this didn't happen. I wish I could go back and prevent it. I've thrown a dozen parties here over the years and nothing like this has happened. I usually leave all the rooms open, as it's a cooler vibe, and I never had any problems with that. I'm generally trusting of people, especially when I'm being good to them. If I do this again, I guess I'll just have to be tighter at the door in the future, buy a video surveillance system, close off rooms, and be less trusting. If a $20,000 watch was sitting out in the open at someone's party, on a table, with it's price tag, and there was no one around, I wouldn't touch it, neither would Andrew, and neither would any of the people I invited. Because the people on this list are good people, and I work very hard to keep a good crowd at the parties. That's why I keep a tight door. Letting the Doorman leave early was an expensive mistake. That was the most expensive single item in the house. I could never see myself owning a watch that expensive. But I am fully responsible for it. There was no insurance, that watch was insured by Judd. I wish I knew I was insuring that much, but I gave my roommate Andrew my word that he has nothing to worry about when he leaves town if he lets me use his room for the party.
Now that a couple days have passed, I'm calmer. I'm always more lethal when I'm calm and focused.

The good news is the watch case is glass and high gloss cherry wood, and it's covered all over with fingerprints. That means I'm going to find this asshole. I only believe in Karma when there is a motherfucker like me out there to enforce it. I've made examples out of people who pissed me off at my party before, and some of you might humorously and vividly remember enjoying those displays of public embarrassment, but this is on another level, this could be my masterpiece. If this message makes its way to the thief, I might tell you that you may as well jump out of a high building window now, that life is just not worth living when you have the nightmare of Judd's anger focused on you, or I'll just have to show you. I will give you a choice. You have till the end of this weekend to find a way to get the watch back to my house, and we can both move on with our lives with this matter behind us. Or the hunt is on. At that point, I would suggest you cut off your own finger tips and start running, fast.
I've filed a police report. The fingerprint officer will be here shortly. I've contacted private detectives. And I'm offering you all, dear readers, a $5000 reward to anyone who has credible information leading to the return of this watch.

So that you're aware, the watch is an Audemars Piguet Special Edition Navy watch. You can see a similar one for sale here:
http://www.prestigetime.com/item/Audemars-Piguet/Royal-Oak-Offshore-Chronograph-Special-Editions/NAVY 26170st.oo.d305cr.01.html
Behind the dial is an amazingly complex piece of machinery powered by the movement of your wrist, called Automatic Movement. Audemars Piguet is known for extremely expensive time pieces that sometimes cost several hundred thousand. But very few people are aware of their worth outside the world of watch enthusiasts. The thief definitely didn't know what he took, probably thinking it to be worth a couple hundred, and not realizing the world of pain he has opened for himself. This watch has a unique serial number, case number and movement number that match together. Beyond that, all automatic movement watches need regular professional servicing or they stop working right and become worthless. This can't be serviced by a professional who knows what they're doing without that person discovering that the watch is stolen. Thus, as a hot stolen watch, this cannot be sold for anything beyond its aesthetic value, which might actually be a few hundred dollars for a stainless steel watch.

Please pass this info on. I want to find this piece of shit.
To the thief, I almost feel sorry for you. You didn't understand what you were steeling, and you didn't understand who you were steeling from. I hope this message gets passed along to you quickly so you still have the option not to find out the hard way.

four: Saturday

2009-10-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

"My neighbors are all terrified of fires. A few decades ago a fire burned down every home on my street, including on my lot."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

Wow, my inbox exploded with concerned emails. Let's keep this simple.
Log into the AnyVite. If you're in the "Yes" section, you're good, I'll see you tomorrow. If you're in the "Maybe" section, you're good, I'll probably see you tomorrow. If your name has been moved to the "No" section, that's not good my friend, don't come tomorrow.
If you're female (and you're not an athlete requiring gender tests) and you come to the house looking good, you won't be turned away. Yes even if you're not confirmed on the list.
Is that simple?

If I moved your confirmation from Yes to No and you're wondering why, I can give you many totally innocent reasons, but you might as well just assume that your worst fears are true, that I don't like you and I'm trying to keep my distance from you. Or maybe it really is just that I don't know you and I didn't give you priority over the 320+ others. No hard feelings. Whatever you want to believe.

The rest of this message is for those of you who haven't been to a party here before.
Now on a very serious note. Humor switch is turned off. My neighbors were (to put it lightly) pissed when I rented my house out to a hollywood promoter who threw a loud crazy party some months ago. In order for them not to hang me on the spot, I had to agree to some things about handling guests.

First of all, I must have Valet Parking. That means it's mandatory for you. You Must Park Valet. People walking up the hill making noise at night is what brings out the lynch mob of neighbors. If I am executed by them, there will be No More Parties here. Anyway, these are my guys, I own the Valet company. The charge is only $3/car, I'm just trying to recoup some of my cost. Throw them some love if they did a good job running up to get your car. (And keep us in mind for your future events, restaurants, night clubs, etc.)

Second, and much more importantly, there was a serious Brush Fire 2 months ago in this area. You may have seen it on the news or from your window looking towards the 405. It is absolutely completely illegal to smoke out on the street in this brush fire zone. My neighbors are all terrified of fires. A few decades ago a fire burned down every home on my street, including on my lot. More than anything else, my neighbors are waiting by their phones to call the police if they see anyone smoking outside on the street. They even just got together and ever so subtlely put up a No Smoking sign across the street from my house. You can smoke out in the entrance side yard or on the balconies, just DO NOT throw cigarettes off the balcony, that's even worse.

Other than that, my neighbors are cool.

While on the subject of smokers…
No matter how many ashtrays I buy, I can't stop people from throwing cigarettes all over my plants. Everyone's got their thing that bugs them; some people don't like tight spaces and have a problem with elevators, some people have a problem with commitment, I have a problem with cigarette butts in my landscaping. Did God realize what a messy creature he was bringing to this planet when he created the first smoker? What a mistake that was. To combat this evil, in addition to the ashtrays, there will be metal sand buckets. THROW YOUR CIGARETTES IN THE SAND BUCKETS, NOT IN MY PLANTS. If you see anyone casually throw a cigarette into a plant, just chop off their head. I don't care if their back is turned and they don't see it coming.

Ok Kids that's it. Party is tomorrow NIGHT. Remember this is not a pool party, so don't show up in the afternoon in a bikini (hmm… actually… hmm...). Party starts at 9. Get there early so I can actually hang out with you a little before the rush comes and it becomes like one long whirlwind for me. There will be a lot of you tomorrow. Can't wait to see you guys :)

Until then...

three: snip

2009-10-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

"If you can't get in anywhere else, I heard the drive thru at Taco Bell is open 24 hours. There's no guest list there and they have a good steak soft taco. Let me know if you think it's any good."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

Whoa, Guest List is fucking closed.

Guess what time it is kids? That's right, time to do some cutting. This isn't going to pretty.
321 Confirmed on the AnyVite. We can get those numbers down, can't we?
If you've received an invitation from me personally, do not worry, you're good. If you didn't, start panicking. But alas, it's probably already too late. You've probably already received noticed that you're no longer on the list. I'm sorry man, confirmations came in way over capacity and I don't know you.

I know that sucks. The good news for you is that there's always something else to do in this city on a Saturday night. If you can't get in anywhere else, I heard the drive thru at Taco Bell is open 24 hours. There's no guest list there and they have a good steak soft taco. Let me know if you think it's any good.

I just trimmed the list from 321 confirmed to 270. That's still a lot of people dude. To be honest I'd be fine with 100 people party, or even a 15 person get together. 270 is enough.

I like awesome people. If you're awesome, with good reason, and you're not on the list, but you think you should be, email me (judd@weissinvestment.com) and I'll see what I can do.

Guys, please don't show up if you're not confirmed on the AnyVite. You don't want to waste your time and embarrass yourself at the door.

All that being said, let's be honest, Doormen don't give a hard time to girls looking good. If that's you, you shouldn't have a problem.

Saturday night is approaching. Can't wait, can't wait. See you soon :)

two: your next profile picture

2009-10-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

"Meeting strong cool men of accomplishment and talent worthy of keeping as friends is fantastic, but that's unfortunately rare."

Message about "Bel Air House Party"

Girls, start picking out the outfit for your next facebook profile pic, there will be 4 amazing professional photographers at the party Saturday. Each has their own creative edge. I'm lucky to know them as friends, otherwise this would cost several thousand.
We've got:
Den Bradshaw http://www.dendigital.com
Mike Allen http://mikeallenphoto.com
Rudy Torres http://rudytorresrocks.com
Doug Hac http://doughac.com
Overkill maybe, but they're invited as friends to enjoy the party, not hired as photographers. They want to take some shots and I'm not going to argue with that!

Looks like we're filling up soon. Confirm on the AnyVite for yourself and your guests if you want to come before I shut down the list. Adding your pluses is working now. I wish facebook let you add pluses on event invites, I'd be able to just make do with that, but AnyVite seems to be working fine. I keep a strict list the doorman will be sticking to. Make sure you're squared away now. And make sure to scrutinize the friends you're bringing. I'm an evil dictator and I want to keep this party filled with only awesome people.

Guys, if you didn't receive the invite from me personally, and I don't know you, and I don't know why I should want to, you won't be on the list at the door.

I'm a strong believer in open borders for our country, but not for my house party. I always love my awesome crowd, but there's always a few guys I look at and wonder what the fuck they're doing here. Restricting guys isn't just about having good ratios; there's that, but douche-bag friend of friend guys have in the past pissed me off, behaved inappropriately with girls, stolen stuff, etc. Frankly I don't want to throw a party I'm not happy about. A party is as good as its crowd. Meeting strong cool men of accomplishment and talent worthy of keeping as friends is fantastic, but that's unfortunately rare. I feel like I now better understand how girls feel trying to find a quality guy. Most guys seem to have nothing to offer, not even a decent personality, and are eager to grab as much as they can. Hence my resistance.
About girls, eh who cares? As long as she's cute and friendly and not a sloppy mess, she's welcome :)

You will be JUDGED by the friends you bring. If you have a bunch of friends that haven't evolved past the frat house who are looking forward to bragging about getting the most fucked up on tequila shots; please would you be so kind and remove yourself from this invite, leave the city, and move to Montana or Zimbabwe.

But otherwise, yeah, I cant wait to see you guys Saturday :)

one: RSVP for "Bel Air House Party"

2009-10-03T02:11:00.000-07:00

"They're like those Gypsies in Europe that play bad accordion music by your dinner table until you pay them to stop."

RSVP for "Bel Air House Party"

OK Kids, make sure you're strapped tight in your seat for what I'm about to tell you:

I'm throwing another House Party

ok ok, I know, calm down and don't break anything

Like always there will be an open bar, food, valet, and awesome people to meet in a cool modern home in the hills of Bel Air. If you're looking for a loud banging fist-pumping dance party, hit up a hollywood dance club. This is a more social loungey affair, with good music, with good energy, with good people that you can actually speak to without yelling.

Why am I throwing another party? Well all these bitches and pains in my ass keep pestering me and harassing me with "throw another party, throw another party". They're like those Gypsies in Europe that play bad accordion music by your dinner table until you pay them to stop. You can just keep shouting "Get the fuck outta here Gypsy!" but they won't stop until you give 'em something. So yeah, that's why I'm throwing a party.

And, yeah, well I guess maybe I miss you guys a little bit, but not really. So anyway...

The Party Rules are here: (I'm serious, read the motherfucking rules. they're updated)

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/party-rules.htm

Pictures of my place are here:

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/lindaflora/lindaflora.html

Pictures of the last party are here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/juddweiss

Directions to my place are here: (hills are tricky, pay attention)

http://www.weissinvestment.com/misc/directions.htm

Here is someone's Happy Mom:

http://www.josieandderek.com/images/Wedding/HappyMom.jpg

And what the fuck is THIS?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40

But I digress...

I'll be trying something new this time. I'm charging the guys $15 each at the door. Yes even though we're good friends, yes even if your mom used to make us pancakes when we were little. You might have noticed, for the last 5 years I only throw 1 large party a year here for my birthday. The parties usually cost around $2000-$2500 to put together. If I can cover some or most of that cost, there will be more of these. I'm not charging the girls because against my better judgment for some reason they make me happy when they're around. I'm still going to restrict the guys and the knuckle-heads, I'm not trying to profit at the expense of having a cool crowd, just want to cover some of the costs to make me feel better about throwing more parties. You are all my friends, so please don't ask me to comp you. Thank you for your support, let's hope this is financially feasible, and that there's a happy Judd. Because a happy Judd is a kinder, more generous Judd.

MEN, your full name must be on the list if you want to get past the doorman. Email me the names of all the guys in your group, even though you've RSVP'd here.

GIRLS, being a +(plus) is fine for you.

RSVP early for you and your friends. I NEED A HEAD COUNT. Don't be lazy about this, list will close shut at 220 people. I hate to be an asshole and reject you because we're crowded. Eh, who am I kidding? I love to be an asshole. It's one of the best parts of being a guy. You can avoid this if you RSVP early.

Alright guys, I'll tell you the truth. The real reason I'm throwing another party is, when I think of you guys I get all these warm squishy feelings. It's just hard for me to admit it, ok?

We live on a wonderful planet, with so many great ways to spend our time. How often am I able to spend mine with so many great people like you?

See you next Saturday, September 26th smile

spotlight retrosexuals: golden silvers

2009-09-28T12:21:00.001-07:00

RETROSEXUALS are so hot on the indie music scene right now. when they're not busy filtering their digital videos to look "archival" or auto erotically asphyxiating themselves with an ascot to trailers of wes anderson's roald dahl film the fantastic mr. fox, you can be sure to find retrosexuals like the golden silvers wailing away on a refurbished analog synth:

emily wells

2009-09-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

what's cool about high school

2009-09-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

"This is what’s cool about high school. Some chick said the trees smelled like cum, and all the guys agreed. Because all the guys had smelled their cum by that age."
-A.M.

moves

2009-09-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

the uncomfortable arm

2009-09-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

THE UNCOMFORTABLE ARM

There is this arm, and it is always uncomfortable. The other arm is happy: it is wrapped around its lover, hand cupping—well, whatever the lover provides for cupping. But this arm, the uncomfortable one, it has nowhere to go, smothered or smashed, its options are unappealing and the other arm is entirely unwilling to surrender its privileged position—it is after all, the dominant arm. Meanwhile, the lover is content, unaware of the arm’s bearable distress. Indeed, it is not unbearable, but mild discomfort is the gateway to pain and soon the arm is asleep, and not the peaceful kind, the tingly kind. Things have become quite serious for this arm and I pity it.

i got white friends

2009-09-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

I GO SWIMMING!

dog flight not impossible pt 2

2009-09-01T13:56:00.000-07:00